I've been thinking quite a bit lately about where I've been, where I am, and where I would like to be, or wish I was. These past few months have been slightly inactive in terms of my fluidity of my creative juices - my dance practice has pathetically shriveled into a pale former shadow of itself, my rush of inspiration for my crafty projects has gone like the wind... I've just generally been tired, I suppose. It's winter - those winter months really do put a damper on things in some ways - but they do make you think. Maybe a little too much.
After much thought, I'd decided that when I grow up I want to be the offspring of Mardi Love and Dante Gabriel Rossetti. I want to embrace what inspires me, generate my own beauty, unleash it upon the world, and damn anyone else who might call it a hunk of crap. I want to embrace my own individuality, not try to smother it, and enjoy what I do.
I'm tired of trying so hard not to be myself, but at the same time tired of worrying about whether or not I'm being true to who I think I am. It's time to stop thinking and start listening... to myself.
It's so difficult to finally give yourself permission to follow and really listen to your own instincts, without doubt, when doubt has always been such an -ingrained- thing. But you have what so many people don't, a strong creative identity and (i'm going to use this word again) instinct - or a style, to put it plainly. There is something there, Sarah, and it's beautiful and natural and it's yours. There are so many people out there who never gain or develop their own voice, but they have enough self-confidence and ego to sell themselves and their vision; you have a talent that is completely effortless and you, you have a voice. You are an artist in the truest sense of the word.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much, and I will always, always support you and your decisions.
xx.
Thank you so much, Annie. You have no idea how much those words mean to me. I've always looked up to you and you've been a huge inspiration to me, especially in recent years - since I've started to finally take the reigns of my own life. I've always had a vision of who and what I've wanted to be, and instead of putting myself down about it and thinking that it's impossible I want to try and make it real. It's too exhausting, physically and emotionally, to do otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I have you in my life, thank you for being such a wonderful, amazing, and supportive big sister. I love you so very much.